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"Garcia Márquez's Farewell to His Friends" - de Florin si atat la: 28/08/2004 22:04:59
(la: Avem timp)
Poezia de mai sus imi aduce aminte de
"Garcia Márquez's Farewell to His Friends"

Initial atribuita lui Garcia Machez, a fost o pacaleala. Detaiile le puteti gasi la:

http://www.psa-rising.com/voices/farewell/index.htm

http://www.psa-rising.com/voices/farewell/index.htm

If for a moment God would forget that I am a rag doll and give me a scrap of life, possibly I would not say everything that I think, but I would definitely think everything that I say.
I would value things not for how much they are worth but rather for what they mean.
I would sleep little, dream more. I know that for each minute that we close our eyes we lose sixty seconds of light.
I would walk when the others loiter; I would awaken when the others sleep.
I would listen when the others speak, and how I would enjoy a good chocolate ice cream.
If God would bestow on me a scrap of life, I would dress simply, I would throw myself flat under the sun, exposing not only my body but also my soul.
My God, if I had a heart, I would write my hatred on ice and wait for the sun to come out. With a dream of Van Gogh I would paint on the stars a poem by Benedetti, and a song by Serrat would be my serenade to the moon.
With my tears I would water the roses, to feel the pain of their thorns and the incarnated kiss of their petals...My God, if I only had a scrap of life...
I wouldn't let a single day go by without saying to people I love, that I love them.
I would convince each woman or man that they are my favourites and I would live in love with love.
I would prove to the men how mistaken they are in thinking that they no longer fall in love when they grow old--not knowing that they grow old when they stop falling in love. To a child I would give wings, but I would let him learn how to fly by himself. To the old I would teach that death comes not with old age but with forgetting. I have learned so much from you men....
I have learned that everybody wants to live at the top of the mountain without realizing that true happiness lies in the way we climb the slope.
I have learned that when a newborn first squeezes his father's finger in his tiny fist, he has caught him forever.
I have learned that a man only has the right to look down on another man when it is to help him to stand up. I have learned so many things from you, but in the end most of it will be no use because when they put me inside that suitcase, unfortunately I will be dying.

They tell me Seven Sisters in - de Cassandra la: 17/11/2005 19:53:00
(la: Oamenii nu se trag din maimuta)
They tell me Seven Sisters in New Orleans
that can really fix a man up right
And I'm headed for New Orleans, Louisiana,
I'm travelin' both day and night.

I hear them say the oldest Sister
look just like she's 21
And said she can look right in your eyes
and tell you just exactly what you want done.

Good morning, Seven Sisters,
just thought I'd come down and see
Will you build me up where I'm torn down,
and make me strong where I'm weak?

I went to New Orleans, Louisiana,
just on account of something I heard
The Seven Sisters told me everything I wanted to know,
and they wouldn't let me speak a word.

Now, it's Sarah, Minnie, Bertha,
Holly, Dolly, Betty and Jane
Sarah, Minnie, Bertha,
Holly, Dolly, Betty and Jane
You can't know them Sisters apart,
because they all looks just the same.

Seven times a year
the Seven Sisters will visit me all in my sleep
And they said I won't have no trouble,
and said I'll live twelve days in a week.

Wanna go down in Louisiana,
and get right out of your bein'
These Seven Sisters can do anything in Louisiana,
but you'll have to go to New Orleans.

__________________________________________________________
"We are not to introduce divine revelations into science, nor scientific opinions into religion." Isaac Newton.
sa mai si radem - de andre_ la: 15/11/2007 14:46:01
(la: Un nou forum: "Bancuri, glume, poante...")
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's
minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught
in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the
attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all
to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the
neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the
weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the
two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the
night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way
They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an
attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally
determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had
met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that
good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north
about 9 months ago?" "Yes, I do." Said Bob .
"Did you, er, happen to getup in the middle of the night, go up to the
house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes!," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out,
"I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned beet red and he said,
"Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did." "Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything."
(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?... you know
you smiled...now keep that smile for the rest of the day!)

Cum va place ... - de Iacobp la: 28/01/2004 09:47:52
(la: Poezii proprii)
Oh Heavens, give me the stillness of the sand,
On a moonless night in a deserted land,
Give me the patience of the rocks,
Put my heart on a shelf and my brain in a box,
Take my senses away and my feelings as well,
'Cause as long as I'm feeling the lapse of the time I'm in Hell!
Keep me like that in an ivory tower without feelings and dreams,
Whithout vision and power,
in the stillness of death in the coolness of ice,
In the remotest place of your paradise,
And wake me up, give my senses back then,
When the day will arrive and I'll meet her again...
Se pare ca se incinta discuti - de relu la: 13/02/2004 22:51:42
(la: Romani in strainatate)
Se pare ca se incinta discutia aici, ori a fost incintata de la-nceput.

In orice caz, stiti ce mi se pare mie dubios? Faptul ca unele opinii (de mai jos) nu sint bazate pe experienta reala. Ma refer la cei care nu au avut ocazia sa traiasca in afara Romaniei un timp indeajuns de indelungat (tipic 3-5 ani) ca sa poata sa vorbeasca din proprie experienta, si nu din ceea ce aud de la altii. Astfel ei isi inchipuie cum se simt cei din afara, si nu ca asta ar fi gresit, dar nici nu le trece prin cap ca ei s-ar putea sa sa insele in aceasta privinta. Asta in contrast cu opiniile celor care traiesc in strainatate, si au trait sau au crescut in Romania in trecut, indeajuns sa stie cu ce se maninca ciorba de peste, si astfel au o perspectiva mai buna (nu toti! sint unii de ani de zile in occident si inca traiesc dupa mentalitatea din anii 'XX din Romania, si vice versa).

Acum citeva luni cind am fost inapoi in Romania am observat ca subiecte dintr-astea mai delicate trebuie tratate cu multa diplomatie de catre noi, cei care pretindem sa ne fi iluminat aici in vest (folosind termenul "vest" in mod vag, eu fiind in estul Canadei, si fara asigurare ca sint iluminat). Frustratia celor care au ramas acasa e usor de inteles, si parerea mea e ca noi cei din-afara ar trebui cel putin sa incercam sa-i facem pe ei sa inteleaga cu vorba buna, cu exemple, cu descrieri, samd. Numai cind asta rezulta in esec, daca e necesar (adica cine cistiga ce pin'la urma urmelor daca ei inteleg sau nu) , sa incercam sa-i lamurim cu ciomagul verbal. In cazul rudelor apropiate si a fostilor dusmani de moarte, ca roman get-beget imi permit sa sugerez folosirea ciomagului verbal de la inceput.

Deci, in sumar, de ce ne asteptam noi ca cei din tara sa inteleaga imediat ceea ce noua ne-a trebuit ani sa intelegem in occident?

Cu stima si respect (rude apropiate si dusmani de moarte inclusi)
/usr/doc/Relu

"Give me an opinion! Any clod can give me the facts..."
Unknown author
Top 10 anii'80 - de bpisai la: 25/02/2004 04:13:57
(la: Top 10 pop-rock-disco al anilor 80)
1. Stela Enache - Ani de liceu
2. Alphaville - Forever Young
3. Modern Talking - Wild Wild Water
4. Cock Robin - The Promise You Made
5. Jennifer Rush - Come Give Me Your Hand
6. Chris de Burgh - The Head and the Heart
7. Zdravko Colic - Ruzice Ruska
8. Nino de Angelo - Jenseits von Eden
9. Demis Roussos - Quand Je T'Aime
10. Opus - Live Is Life
Pt. Filip Antonio #10920 - de schitroc la: 29/02/2004 11:17:19
(la: Preoti homosexuali?)
De ce nu ne dai tu o lectie publica (pe acest forum) de cum trebuie inteleasa Biblia? Like insulting everyone that does not agree with you?

Come on man, take a life and give me a break. You're becoming overbearing...

Sil
#10950 (raspuns la: #10920) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
Pt. LMC/Brave Warrior - de Little Eagle la: 26/05/2004 18:01:32
(la: I'm back...)
Draga mea sora,

Nu am nevoie sa caut in dictionare ce inseamna un Brave Warrior.
Tu gandeste la mine cel care sunt azi de 16 ani incoace,ceea ce am scris despre trecutul meu inainte este o alta persoana,ce nu se gasise inca.

Si ca sa-ti spun ce inseamna un Brave Warrior,eu nu te cunosc,dar iti cunosc sufletul si te iubesc mult ,esti sora mea,mi-as da viata pt. tine de ai fi in primejdie,fara sa ma gandesc la moarte.Oare nu ai considera asta un act de bravura?

In Romania am fost odata cu 2-3 ani inainte de a veni aici,ridicat de securitate la 3 dimineata intr-o joi.
Am vazut parintii mei plangand si personal mi-am zis ca viata mea e terminata.Am luptat pt. drepturile omului nu doar pt. mine dar pt. toti si am scris scrisori de protest impotriva lui Ceausescu,atat in Romania dar am reusit sa trimit cateva si aici in America,si in Germania si Franta unde aveam prieteni si cunoscuti plecati.
Au ajuns la diversi senatori si reprezentanti americani in congres,au ajuns si la Jimmy Carter,pe atunci presedinte.
Crezi ca aceste acte nu reprezinta pe un Brave Warrior?

Am fost dus cu duba la sediul militiei de sector,am avut senzatia ca nu voi mai vedea soarele rasarind pt. mine dar nu am fost speriat si nu am plans si nici nu mi-am plecat capul in fata lor.
Dupa cateva ore m-au luat la bataie,nu ma loveau in fata....cica sa nu lase urme....dar ma loveau in ficat si rinichi de am lesinat.
M-au tinut treaz cu orele la interogatorii stupide,ma duceau inapoi in celula
si credeam ca pot sa stau un pic sa ma refac dar dupa 10 min sa zic asa,veneau si ma luau din nou si iar la bataie,de data asta cu bulanul la talpile goale si apoi imi spuneau ca e vremea sa fac exercitii de ...gimnastica si sa sar in sus....cadeam jos lesinat.
Alte dati dupa alte batai,capitanul spunea altora daca vor sa mearga la WC,si unii ziceau ca da,si atunci se pisau pe mine.

Mi s-a parut o eternitate acele 3 zile cat am stat acolo,umilit,scuipat in ochi si jignit,dar am stat mereu drept si nu am renuntat deloc la idealul meu de a fi liber.
Mi-au dat drumul pt. ca ambasada americane din Buc. ma avea pe o lista anume,sa fiu lasat sa plec in USA.
La acea vreme,Carter a dat Romaniei acea favoare de favorite nation si a cerut in schimb sa fie lasati in pace toti disidentii politici persecutati de regim.

La 3 ani dupa aceea mi s-a dat pasaportul,de persoana fara cetatenie romana,apatrid,doar America m-a primit.
Te intreb draga mea,oare exista in dictionare termenul de Brave Warrior in cazul meu?

Parintii mei mi-au zis sa-mi cer dosarul de la Securitate,dar nu vreau.
Vreau sa uit acel trecut,o rana in sufletul meu.Nu am putut vedea la tv acele poze si imagini cu tortura irakienilor pt. ca-mi aduce aminte de aceleasi lucruri prin care eu am trecut.

Sper sa ma intelegi acum,ma crezi cum doresti,daca nu sunt un Brave Warrior
poate e doar parerea ta,o respect.
Nu as fi vrut sa scriu astfel de amintiri,pt. a demonstra ceva despre mine,am considerat totusi ca ar trebui sa le cunosti,sunt doar in mic detaliu.
Si niciodata nu am facut parada cu ele,dar acum e bine sa le stii,maybe you'll give me a brake.

Te iubesc mult si din suflet,
Love&peace,
Ozzy(Little Eagle Who Cries)

















































#15889 (raspuns la: #15884) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
altfel! - de Alice la: 17/07/2004 11:32:22
(la: Te scoala, Lazare si mergi !)
ai putea sa-ncepi miseleste de-acolo de unde se ciocnesc abulantele de salvari, sau din triaj, unde se pare ca n-a mai ajuns, sarutand padelele cand ala tzipa ‘cleaar’, “inapoi”, ca la ciuma…Se zguduiau amandoi, ca sinele sub tramvai si viata, tarandu-si picoarele dinapoi, urla ca o catea taiata de tren.(::)


in confuzia asta el-ea, textul de sus imi aminteste vag de-o melodie a lui Nick Cave, ce-obisnuiam s-o ascult, far' de-a ma gandi prea mult la sensuri:

They call me The Wild Rose
But my name is Elisa Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name is Elisa Day

From the first day I saw her I knew she was the one
As she stared in my eyes and smiled
For her lips were the colour of the roses
That grew down the river, all bloody and wild

When he knocked on my door and entered the room
My trembling subsided in his sure embrace
He would be my first man, and with a careful hand
He wiped at the tears that ran down my face


On the second day I brought her a flower
She was more beautiful than any woman I'd seen
I said, "Do you know where the wild roses grow
So sweet and scarlet and free?"

On the second day he came with a single red rose
Said: "Will you give me your loss and your sorrow?"
I nodded my head, as I lay on the bed
He said, "if I show you the roses will you follow?"


On the third day he took me to the river
He showed me the roses and we kissed
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he stood smiling above me with a rock in his fist

On the last day I took her where the wild roses grow
And she lay on the bank, the wind light as a thief
As I kissed her goodbye, I said, "All beauty must die"
And lent down and planted a rose between her teeth

se-nfige-atunci in mine, intrebarea, ca un spin: cate ambulate trebuie sa-i aplici unui mort, sa le putem numi salvari?

alice iacob


belle, - de dinisor la: 09/09/2004 01:33:49
(la: Barbatul roman din diaspora)
T - puzzle-ul a inceput. "bare for deg" inseamna doar pentru tine

Alex a cedat, se pare. O fi avand omul obligatii ...;-) apare el sigur maine, poimaine...

ma pun pe citit detaliile pe link-ul ce mi l-ai trimis. comentez dupa.give me a sec...
_______________________________________________________
Viata este timpul ce ne-a fost daruit, de la prima pana la ultima clipa!
#21440 (raspuns la: #21439) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
Sau un steak house... Ruth Ch - de Horia D la: 28/10/2004 23:19:21
(la: Trancaneala Aristocrata)
Sau un steak house... Ruth Chris nu va da faliment niciodata:) iar felul in care fac ei steakurile e nemaipomenit de bun si de simplu... incalzesti cuptorul la 1,500F, pui steakul inauntru pentru 3-4 minute, si ai cel mai perfect (medium-rare) steak de pe pamant... Yum-yum, give me some!

The things that come to those who wait are what's left behind by those
who got there first.
#26704 (raspuns la: #26703) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
agree - de kant la: 13/12/2004 15:38:27
(la: Viata gay...romaneasca!)
Nu pot sa nu fiu in totalitate de acord cu d-l anonim si nu o fac dintr-un trend sau mai stiu eu ce afilieri cu persoana.
Nu inteleg de ce se foloseste atat de des cuvantul boala cand se vorbeste despre homosexualitate,parca chestia cu raportul de sinonimie cu pedofilia,necrofilia,zoofilia etc. s-a stins de mult.
Sau poate nu,dar e mult mai usor sa numim ceea ce u intelegem drept "boala".As completa,al naibii de iritat,"boala" mai degraba pt cei ce nu o inteleg ca o limitare intelectuala si senzoriala caci people e vorba de oameni aici si de afecte!!!
But there again who cares,hai mai bine sa o numim cum o numim,zicem ca ii intelegem pe toti, dar sa stea departe intr-o raza de 500 de metrii de noi si de copii nostrii.??????Vi se pare asta normal,cum stam cu discriminarea si marginalizarea?Daca unui gay super friendly i se arde sa intre cu mine in acelasi magazin in acelasi timp si dupa ce isi cumpara aceeasi mancare(vezi paine,lapte,carne si mai stiu eu ce....) isi mai ia si o cutie de prezervative!!!
Cum stam cu tolerarea,va zic eu:imediate reaction-Damn Fag!
Dar nu e corect,pur si simplu daca vrem sa fim echitabili trebuie sa ne toleram.Dar mi se pare si asa mai greu cand traim intr-o lume unde femeile sunt tratate ca al naibii de proaste si batute in cap,ca sa ne mai si gandim (prea mult) si la o categorie pe care o numim cel mai adesea "minoritate".Ya,right.
Cat despre pride si confidence,de ce nu ar avea un homosexual si asta sau macar asta,cand numai atat i-a putea ramane.Iata si un banc feminist care de regula ii infurie pe barbatii cu multa suficienta(incat dau pe afara si ii mai si pateaza si pe altii) care s-ar potrivi si gay-lor intr-o anumita masura,adica alora cu pride: Typical macho man married typical
> >good-looking lady and after
> > the
> > > wedding, he laid down the following rules:
> > >
> > > "I'll be home when I want, if I
> >want and at what time I want
> > > and I don't expect any hassle from you. I
> >expect a great dinner
> > > to be on table unless I tell you that I
> >won't be home for dinner. I'll
> > > go hunting, fishing, boozing and
> >card-playing when I want with my old
> > > buddies and don't you give me a hard time
> >about it. Those are my rules.
> > > Any comments?"
> > >
> > > His new bride said, "No, that's
> >fine with me. Just understand
> > > that there will be sex here at seven o'clock
> >every night .........
> > > whether you're here or not."
> > >
> > >
> > > (DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)
> > >
kant
#31535 (raspuns la: #13695) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
fefe&jimmy - de anisia la: 13/04/2005 00:01:47
(la: Trancaneala Aristocrata "2")
portret in versuri ziceti? nu-i problema! dar sper sa nu se supere restul trancanitorilor...
give me some minutes!!
#43223 (raspuns la: #43126) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
cataline :( - de cico la: 24/07/2005 21:59:00
(la: Biserica moderna)
Religia ortodoxa ti se pare ca ar fi intoleranta?

??? Iar o sa te superi, dar iti trebuia un minimum de bun simt sa citesti exact ce-am scris, si macar din comentariul adresat lui yrch si tot vedeai ca-i exact contrariul a ce-ai scris tu aici. Crestinismul eu il percep dintotdeauna ca TOLERANT, insa se mai trezesc destui (citeeeste, Cataline, mesajele anterioare) sa scoata "jihad" si din asta.

Nu sint sigur, dar eu sper ca nu se face. Cum ar fi: fratilor, sa vorbim azi de voodoo, o religie f interesanta, poate si invatati ceva din ea. Cind o sa se faca eu o sa ma retrag din biserica ortodoxa.

Mda, am inteles. Tu, ortodoxul lui peshte, ne predici cit de toleranta e religia ta, insa n-ai ...tolera (!) sa ti se mentioneze macar ca voodoo-ul ...exista! Ca de asta era vorba : de informare (oricum oricine le poate afla din alta parte in citeva minute, de pe net eventual). Iar daca eu scriu de istorie a religiilor si tu vezi doar voodoo, ai o mare problema :(

Cred ca nu ai cunoscut personal sau nu ai vorbit cu un preot, de ai o parere asa proasta. Poate auzi ce zic altii in loc sa verifici?

Pleeease, give me a break... ;) (Iar nici cea mai mica legatura cu subiectul, e doar ca sa-mpungi)

Cu dragoste crestina, Catalin

Mai lasa "dragostea" asta, ca (din ce scrii inainte) incepe sa capete gust pestilentzios :(

ps N-am facut facultatea la TCM.
#61013 (raspuns la: #60962) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
pentru toti dintre voi care sunteti consultants:)) - de Horia D la: 01/08/2005 15:53:13
(la: Trancaneala Aristocrata "4")
A cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a
brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The  driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
sunglasses and YSL  tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I
tell you exactly how many  cows and calves you have in your herd, will
you give me a  calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then  looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why  not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook  computer,
connects it to his AT&T cell phone and surfs to a NASA page on  the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an
exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite
that  scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young  man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within
seconds, he receives an  email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been
processed and the data  stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC  connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He  uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry, and after a few  minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi- tech,  miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the
cowboy and says,  "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

"That's right.   Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the
cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the  young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy  says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
what your business is,  will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for  a second and then says, "Okay, why
not?"

"You're a consultant."  says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess  that?"

"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You  showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an  answer I already knew to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything  about my business."

"Now give me back my  DOG."
#62817 (raspuns la: #62814) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
maan - de cico la: 15/08/2005 20:16:58
(la: Dezgolirea femeii)
gandul ca ti-ai inselat (cu gandul) consoarta!

oh give me a break cu "inselatul cu gindul" ;)) Ca nu orice compliment e traducerea directa a "ce te-as mai incaleca". Fa putina curatenie in modul de-a percepe barbatii, prea ii iei drept animale sadea. Ah pardon, gresesc : doar cel peste care ati dat voi fiecare si va suporta e minunea-minunilor, tot ce-a ramas pe linga e abject ;))
#65417 (raspuns la: #65414) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
curatenia de vineri prin e-mailuri - de Belle la: 26/08/2005 16:47:36
(la: Trancaneala Aristocrata "5")
nu stiu daca am mai pus-o pe-aici, dar acum e ultima sansa s-o cititi fiindca o sterg din e-mail :)

Marriage - Part I

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night ......... whether you're here or not."
(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)
************************************

Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
******************************

Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
******************************************

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" inspite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
**************************************

Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

~~~~
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
#68176 (raspuns la: #68174) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
bancul de joi - de Belle la: 08/09/2005 16:34:09
(la: Trancaneala Aristocrata "5")
A hillbilly, young Kenny, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a
farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day he drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad
news, the donkey died."

Kenny replied, "Well, then, just give me my money back."

The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

Kenny said, "Ok, then, just bring me the ! dead donkey."

The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"

Kenny, "I'm going to raffle him off."

The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

Kenny said, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."

A month later, the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"

Kenny said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars piece and made a profit of $998.00."

The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"

Kenny said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."

Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of Enron.

sursa: un cafegiu :)
#70619 (raspuns la: #70618) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
am cam trecut prin farmece si - de om la: 27/09/2005 16:25:05
(la: Trancaneala Aristocrata "6")
am cam trecut prin farmece si m-am inspirat din...
EMINESCU IN ROMENGLISH
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> I love you atat de tare
>>>
>>> încat I believe ca mor
>>>
>>> you are so încantatoare
>>>
>>> oh, my dear, cât te ador.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> When I go la brat cu tine
>>>
>>> ma simt very magulit
>>>
>>> caci are looking toti la mine
>>>
>>> oh, I am so, so fericit.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> All ar fi atat de bine...
>>>
>>> but you see, nu-i chiar asa
>>>
>>> caci I tell ce simt în mine
>>>
>>> dar tu smile si smile într-una
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> And I think ca spun traznai.
>>>
>>> Please don't face pe nebuna
>>>
>>> si mai look în ochii mei.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Understand? I love you draga
>>>
>>> cum vrei sa-ti mai vorbesc
>>>
>>> you are totul pentru mine
>>>
>>> and I want sa te-ntalnesc.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> But is dificult, vezi bine
>>>
>>> caci your mother e pe faza
>>>
>>> si din five în five minute
>>>
>>> carefully ne controleaza
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Maybe sa ajung la tine
>>>
>>> ca in Shakespeare, "Juliet"
>>>
>>> I "Romeo" love pe tine
>>>
>>> give me scara din boschet.
#74974 (raspuns la: #74971) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
Man: God? God: Yes!? Man: C - de cdp la: 08/11/2005 20:11:41
(la: Un nou forum: "Bancuri, glume, poante...")
Man: God?
God: Yes!?
Man: Can I ask you something?
God: Yes.
Man: What is for you a milion of years?
God: A second.
Man: And a milion of dolars?
God: A penny.
Man: God, Can you give me a penny?
God: Wait a second!



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