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do it draga


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why don't we do it in the road ? - de Jay la: 12/05/2004 09:07:05
(la: De ce sexul in public e dezaprobat?)
Why don't we do it in the road ?

Se intrebau "gandacii" :-)

Parerea mea:

Daca e sex din dragoste:

In toate culturile,chiar si in cele de porumb,cine face sex din dragoste
vrea sa se uite si sa simta singur gaurile placerii.

Daca e sex de dragul sexului:

Desi placerea poate sa vina din mai multe gauri si de la mai multi ochi
a existat religia care a spus ca......placerea nici nu trebuie sa vina.
Sexul de placere nu exista, trebuie doar sa ne reproducem,asa zice ea.
Asa ca ,daca va credeti credinciosi adevarati si va place sexul in puplic sau ..publicat, va irositi puterile pe ritualuri religioase :-))






----------------------
B free just B
dar - de fatman la: 26/04/2004 16:22:10
(la: CATEDRALA SAU MAUSOLEUL?)
(i hate to do it, but)
draga doamna, puteti incepe sa pregatiti deja cateva ruguri, surcele, motorina pentru un ritual de eliminare a ereticilor, nu? :)

acuma, serios, nu pretind ca ateii sunt o majoritate, sau ceva de genu asta, insa se pare ca in ultimii ani incep sa se contureze ca un important procent din populatia tarii... acest fapt se datoreaza in primul rand incapacitatii religiei de a dovedi majoritatea afirmatiilor facute coroborata si cu o "trezire mondiala" daca vreti; (mentionez ca internetul, aceasta unealta a satanei, cum mai este numita in anumite grupuri, faciliteaza acest fenomen, prin capacitatea de comunicare interumana pe care o ofera)

motivul pentru care e foarte important ca crestinii sa arate elasticitate in acest caz este unul simplu: exista si cetateni romani atei, budisti, musulmani, etc, care cetateni traiesc in aceasta tara, impart economia falimentara (si politica de clan psd) cu crestinii...

si se pune problema utilitatii acestei catedrale, in conditiile in care se stie ca credinta porneste din suflet (ego) nu din afara - daca oamenii prefera sa caute si nu sa creada, de ce ar schimba asta o constructie religioasa? si cum? prin opulenta?

in concluzie, nu e bine sa ne pripim cu "prigonirea crestinilor" de catre atei, ca de fapt suntem noi toti prigoniti de catre stat, pana una alta.

aia ie!
#14564 (raspuns la: #14550) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
Draga Jennifer - de Bitterdream la: 17/11/2006 19:44:48
(la: DACA NU AR EXISTA CAFENEAUA.COM)
Ma induioseaza candoarea ta.
Nu glumesc.
O fi cum spui tu, desi nu prea inteleg cum e cu invatamantul ala....si daca te referi cumva la sistemul Bologna.
Hai sa-ti spun ceva. Eu stiu si oameni care aleg sa fie rai. Si o fac cu atat de multa voluptate.....Incat devine o a doua natura. Sau poate e prima si nu am inteles eu.
In orice caz. Bine ai venit. Cum iti place cafeaua?

______________________
"If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it." (Marcus Aurelius)
#157899 (raspuns la: #157867) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
Maan, Rolia si oricine doreste sa citeasca - de Bitterdream la: 23/11/2006 21:40:23
(la: DACA NU AR EXISTA CAFENEAUA.COM)
Am primit asta pe mail. Fara a sustine ca e exceptionala, o postez, pentru ca se potriveste.
P.S. Maan, nu incercam sa te fac sa-mi lauzi cafeaua. Eu oricum o fac pentru oricine doreste. Nu-i bai. Iar halatul e legat cu cordon. Si are si nasturi. Doar sufletul e descheiat. Dar nu e o insistenta invitatie sa te uiti in sufletul meu. :)
___________________________

Cand lucrurile par sa o ia razna si nu-ti mai ajung 24 ore in zi, sa te gandesti la borcanul de maioneza si cele 2 cani de cafea...

Un profesor de filosofie statea in fata clasei avand pe catedra cateva lucruri. Cand ora a inceput, fara sa spuna un cuvant, a luat un borcan mare de maioneza gol, pe care l-a umplut cu mingi de golf. I-a intrebat pe studenti daca borcanul este plin si acestia au convenit ca era.

Profesorul a luat atunci o cutie cu pietricele pe care le-a turnat in borcan, scuturandu-l usor. Pietricelele au umplut golurile dintre mingile
de golf. I-a intrebat din nou pe studenti daca borcanul era plin, iar acestia au fost de acord ca era.

Profesorul a luat dupa aceea o cutie cu nisip pe care l-a turnat in borcan,. Firesc, nisipul a umplut de tot borcanul. I-a intrebat din nou pe studenti cum statea treaba, iar acestia au raspuns in cor "pliiin"!

Profesorul a scos de sub catedra doua cesti cu cafea pe care le-a turnat in borcan umplandu-l de aceasta data definitiv. Studentii au ras.

"Acum" a spus profesorul dupa ce hohotele s-au domolit, "as dori sa intelegeti ca acest borcan reprezinta viata voastra. Mingile de golf reprezinta lucrurile importante pentru voi, familia, copiii, sanatatea, prietenii si pasiunile voastre, si ca daca totul ar fi pierdut in afara de acestea, viata voastra ar fi tot plina."

"Pietricelele sunt celelalte lucruri care conteaza pentru voi, serviciul, casa, masina, iar nisipul e restul lucrurilor marunte"

"Daca veti incepe cu nisipul," a continuat el "nu veti mai avea unde sa puneti mingile de golf si pietricelele"

"La fel si in viata, daca iti irosesti tot timpul si energia pentru lucrurile mici, nu vei avea niciodata timp pentru lucrurile importante pentru tine."

"Acorda atentie lucurilor importante pentru fericirea ta. Joaca-te cu copiii, ai grija de sanatatea ta, iesi cu sotia in oras la cina, joaca golf, vei avea suficient timp alta data sa faci curat sau sa repari cine stie ce dispozitiv . Ai, in primul rand grija de mingile de golf, ele conteaza cu adevarat. Stabileste-ti prioritatile, restul e doar nisip."

Unul dintre studenti a ridicat mana interesandu- se ce reprezentau cele doua cani de cafea. Profesorul a zambit.

"Ma bucur ca intrebi asta,ele vor doar sa arate ca, oricat de plina ar parea viata ta, e loc intotdeauna pentru doua cani de cafea, impreuna cu un prieten."

Impartaseste acest mesaj cuiva drag, eu tocmai am facut-o !
_____________________________________________________

Asta si fac. Imi sunt dragi oamenii....daca mai era nevoie sa spun asta.
:)
______________________
"If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it." (Marcus Aurelius)
Rolia, draga - de Bitterdream la: 24/11/2006 23:02:31
(la: DACA NU AR EXISTA CAFENEAUA.COM)
Culmea e ca l-am inteles.
Dar stii tu cum e....Barmanul stie sa asculte si sa dea din cap.
Si cum Cafeneaua nu e a mea, iar eu am temporar slujba de barmanitza, ca mai am vreo doua - trei, be my guest.
Si trage scaunul mai aproape, ca si eu pun scrumul tot in scrumiera aia.
Si multumesc mult de sfaturi, bine ar fi sa fiu ceva mai copila :)
Dar si asa, tot e bine. Le primesc cu placere.

Si cum ziceai..... Cum era cu timpul si cu dovezile? :)

______________________
"If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it." (Marcus Aurelius)
#159371 (raspuns la: #159161) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
Onutza - de Bitterdream la: 25/11/2006 11:30:21
(la: DACA NU AR EXISTA CAFENEAUA.COM)
afinitatea asta o am si eu...sau cel putin asa credeam pana mai ieri. cand un adevar dintr-acesta a iesit la iveala si repejor l-as fi inlocuit cu o minciuna frumoasa.noroc ca ma pastrez vigilenta si incerca macar eu sa nu ma mint.

Vigilentza asta, redescoperita si intretinuta, asigura reflectarea imaginii reale. Fara retusuri. Si pana la urma, macar eu sa stiu exact cum arat.
Regula no.1. = sa ma pot uita in ochii mei in oglinda.

ai inmiresmat toata conferinta.:)

Ma faci sa rosesc. Chiar se simte asa de bine?

biscutiti vreti la cafea?

Pai cutiile astea minunat pictate ce crezi tu ca ar contine? Biscuitzi, draga. Iar in bolul acela de sticla verde....ei? Nu ghicesti? Tablete de dark chocolat cu menta....:)


Si sa stii ca ai dreptate....Timpul nu le rezolva chiar pe toate. Cel putin pentru mine. Mi-a mai lasat lucruri infipte in minte si in inima. Si nu indraznesc sa le smulg de acolo, de frica sa nu sangerez prea tare.
______________________
"If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it." (Marcus Aurelius)
#159453 (raspuns la: #159361) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
onutza - de Bitterdream la: 28/11/2006 11:05:27
(la: DACA NU AR EXISTA CAFENEAUA.COM)
Prefer sa nu ma inrosesc. Mai bine palida. E mai aristocratic ;))
Oricum....daca e sa ma inrosesc, prefer sa fie de placere :)

Trebuie sa am grija sa nu-mi fie lumea prea draga, prea des, ca sa nu apara demonii. Sunt specialisti in aparut in momente fericite.

Asta cu smulgerea si curajul si sangerarea e de la caz la caz. Iar variantele sunt nenumarate.
Iar echilibristica sigur ca e interesanta. Din punctul meu de vedere, mereu, iar in ultimul timp, mai ales, evoluez fara plasa de siguranta.

:)
______________________
"If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it." (Marcus Aurelius)
#160090 (raspuns la: #160019) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
- ei da ! eşti un caz mai special ! :)
Toată stima ! :)


Raspuns a la categoria discutata: It's a tough job, but someone gotta do it! :D

Raspunsul meu: Multam fain, esti un gentleman. Insa nu-s tocma' speciala. oricine scrie din pasiune pentru scris, o face (evident!) de dragul actului propriu-zis, iar la final isi rade in barba multumit traind acelasi sentiment pe care il are orice fiinta ce tocmai a adus pe lume "un ceva" in care a investit timp, energie, pasiune.
si nu-s putini acestia.

#241277 (raspuns la: #240468) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
Stiu ca astea's vechi dar sunt anti-misogin :)) - de Ly la: 27/04/2004 13:30:38
(la: Femeia)
Subject: wife vs husband!

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of
yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

-----------------

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use
a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men..

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

--------------

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so
stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so
you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be
attracted to you!

---------------------

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then
we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you
should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him
at the top of several pages, that it indeed says...

"HEBREWS"
This message may contain privileged and/or confidential information. If you have received this e-mail in error or are not the intended recipient, you may not use, copy, disseminate or distribute it; do not open any attachments, delete it immediately from your system and notify the sender promptly by e-mail that you have done so. Thank you.

---------------

Acum ca am restaurant ceva din balanta pe aici..... :)))


Wake up Horia D! - de Little Eagle la: 04/05/2004 10:14:10
(la: 1984...)
I wish I could have a joint right now!Cuvintele tale ma predispun la a lua droguri,poate niste pain killers will do it.Si credeam ca ma lasasem...asa ca e vina ta ca ma apuc iar de droguri si bautura!!!!
Churchill...a fost bun doar pe timp de razboi,in pace...s-a cacat pe el.
Si am pus in geam afara un mic poster primit de la partidul democratic de care apartin cu sloganul:"JOHN KERRY FOR PRESIDENT!"

Eu cred ca tu esti in la-la land si as fi curios sa stiu citi ani ai?Ai copii?Poate un baiat de 18 ani bun de trimis in Irak,pt. ca daca aprobi politica imbecilului asta de Bush,poate vrei sa-l vezi mort...pt patrie si ...OIL!!!

Nici eu nu am timp de dezbateri si mai ales cu conservatori!!!Ori republicani.Ori "puritani"sau religiosi zelosi de dreapta extremista ce cred ca Dumnezeu le vorbeste.

Si nu m-am prins de chestia spusa de tine cu banii???
Sa trag concluzia ca ai parerea ca stau si tai frunza la ciini???


For your own sake,I hope you'll wake up!!!
........................................................................................................................
"Has he lost his mind?
Can he see or is he blind?
Can he walk and talk?..."

Citeva versuri din "Iron Man"ce se potrivesc perfect cu Bush si cu suporterii lui
ca tine.Adios definitiv!!!!
..........................................................................................................................

Ozzy Osbourne






























#14974 (raspuns la: #14935) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
Fratilor - de Dinu Lazar la: 13/05/2004 15:32:46
(la: O conversatie cu DINU LAZAR, fotograf)
Fratilor mei fotografi, care dau cu citeala pe aici uneori da` nu scriu un rind pen`ca ii doare deshtu pe tastatura, le transmit mesajul unui amic de pe o lista de discutii; cine are urechi de auzit, sa inteleaga, cine nu, asta e...

===============================================

Love him or hate him, Defense Secretary Rumsfeld provided a powerful endorsement for the value of photographs during his Congressional testimony this week. When asked why earlier written warnings of prisoner abuse issued by the International Red Cross hadn't stirred the same response as the recent photos have, Rumsfeld replied, "It's the photographs that gives one the vivid realization of what actually took place . . . words don't do it."
An official with Amnesty International (whose name I didn't catch) was also recorded saying, "pictures are crucial for getting the public turned on to the story."

Remember these words the next time an editor asks you to sign away your copyright, offers you a token sum because, "it won't run very large" or, "we NEVER pay more than that," or tries to tell you that they can probably just
find something from stock to "fill the space." Human beings' ability to
draw pictures predates our ability to read and write by tens, even hundreds, of thousands of years. And even in this age of image overload and digital everything, photographs still remain one of the most powerful forms of communication.

Go out and make good images, and don't let anyone diminish their value.
#15364 (raspuns la: #15322) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
HEY OZZY!!!!!! - de LMC la: 25/06/2004 21:52:50
(la: Despre Alegerile din S.U.A.: De ce trebuie sa votam pt. GWB.)
Inca odata iti spun, mai usurel cu vorbaria murdara. You want to fight, do it in private. Dar daca vrei sa ne batem in public, be my guest. I'm not offended one bit. Show us what you've got. Hai sa vedem ce poti, si cit poti sa duci!! Acuma sincera sa fiu, nu stiu de ce actiune sa ma pregatesc, ca mai inainte vroiai sa-mi tai capul. Make up you mind!
#16773 (raspuns la: #16770) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
Alice...Furnier.... - de Little Eagle la: 03/07/2004 00:13:46
(la: Iubirea, un "natural"? Care dragoste?)
Dear one,

This bonus just for you:from 1969 album of Alice Cooper,Freak out show:

Ain't that just like a woman...

"Adam was as happy as a man can be
Till he started messing around with an old apple tree.

Ain't that just like a womanX2
Ain't that she'll do it every time...?

You can buy a woman clothes
Give her money on the side,
No matter what you do
She ain't never satisfied.!

Ain't that like a womanX2?
Ain't that she'll do it every time?????


Love &peace,
Alice....Ozzy...I don't even know I am these days....













#17218 (raspuns la: #17206) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
Quadrophenia - de Little Eagle la: 05/07/2004 02:05:09
(la: Vreti sa se intoarca Ozzy la cafeneaua.com?)
Un f. bun amic si suflet cum rar gasesti in lume,a scris aceste cuvinte si cantec,numele lui este Pete Townshend,versurile lui vor spune exact TOTUL:

THE DIRTY JOB

"I am a man who looks after the pigs,
Usually I get along okay.
I am a man who reveals what he digs,
Should be more careful what I say.

I'm getting put down
I'm getting pushed round,
I'm being beaten every day...
My life's fading
But things are changing,
I'm not gonna sit and weep again...

I am a man who drives a local bus
I take miners to work but the pits are closed today,
It's easy to see that you are one of us
Ain't it funny how we all seem to look the same????...

We're getting put down...etc

My Karma tells me
You've been screwed again
If you let them do it to you
You've got yourself to blame
It's you who feels the pain,
It's you who feels ashamed...

I am a young man
I ain't done very much,
You men should remember how you used to fight.
Just like a child,I've been seeing only dreams
I'm all mixed up but I know what's right,

I'm getting put down,etc

Love &peace,
Ozzy
................................
Pete Townshend-lyrics,songs+guitars
Roger Daltrey-Vocals
John Entwistle-Bass,english horn
Mooney,adica....Keith Moon-drums.....daca real vreti sa aveti o idee cum sunt....ca personalitate si ca om...sunt o combinatie intre,Ozzy,Jim Morrison,Robert Plant si ....DILIUL de Mooney.......HA!See you in another life boys&girls,LOVE YOU EVEN AFTER DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I worship all of you!!!MY brothers&sisters,nu stiti cat va iubesc....












.....................................................
Who are the WHO????:

Pete Townshend-Guitars + ALL compositions,ALL songs written by him+lyrics
John Enthwistle-bass
Roger Daltrey-Vocals
Keith Moon,Mooney..........a great guy.....-drums,God bless his soul.
.......................................................................................................................
LOVE &PEACE,
Ozzy







































Planuri schimbate - de LMC la: 27/07/2004 19:32:18
(la: Casuta Postala A Lui LMC)
Cica tocmeala de-acasa nu se potrivestea cu cea din tirg. N-am mai facut curatenie dar am calcat o multime de haine. Dintr-o data ne-am decis sa ne luam si sa ne ducem pina la Target, magazinul meu favorit de-o vreme incoace. Vazusem la teleu un program in care unul avea un tricou pe care scria "I didn't do it" chestie care m-a facut sa explodez in ris. Am zis "Oare unde am putea noi gasi niste tricouri ca astea?" si raspunsul mi-a si venit "La Target!" Duminica fusesem la Target si sotul le-a jinit printre toalele afisate prin magazin. Am zis atunci ca tre' sa mergem sa vedem ce mai au. Ne-am dus si-am tras o serie de risete bune cind am vazut si citit toate poantele scrise pe tricourile de vinzare, dar nu ne-am putut decide ce sa ne luam, asa ca am lasat-o balta. Poate altadata vom avea mai multa inspiratie. Oricum a fost o iesire faina dar care mi-a taiat din elanul meu de-a face curatenie, asa ca m-am apucat de calcat. Dar diseara chiar ca nu ma las pina nu-mi lustruiesc casa. Tineti-mi pumnii. :) :) :)
#18455 (raspuns la: #18419) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
Cursuri foto on line interesante - de Dinu Lazar la: 31/08/2004 09:36:26
(la: O conversatie cu DINU LAZAR, fotograf)
CAN EXPOSURE CONTROL AND DEPTH OF LIGHT SOLVE THE UNSOLVABLE?
We've all heard (maybe even said) that you can't shoot a light skin subject wearing a black top, next to a dark skin subject wearing white with digitalcapture.  Relax, and let the country's top digital lighting technician show you how to do it, and why it works. http://www.shootsmarter.com/infocenter/cg002.html

MARC HAUSER SAYS "GET OFF YOUR BUTT..." .
Studio quiet?  Phone asleep?  It happens to all of us, even a master photographer like Hauser.  Here's a brilliant smArticle that shares the insight of keeping your head fresh, even in slow cycles. We are proud to welcome back the smArticles from the Master.
http://www.shootsmarter.com/infocenter/mh015.html

PHOTOSHOP COURSE JUST ABOUT FULL:
PS Expert Suzette Allen is slated to teach the staff at Crockett Studios how to be more proficient in Photoshop ('cause they sure need the help!)  We've opened this class up to our readers and have only 5 seats left. Please join us if you can? September 19-21 at Crockett Studios in Aurora, IL  MORE INFO? Here you go!:
http://www.shootsmarteruniversity.com/classes/suzette.html

SUZETTE ON PHOTOSHOP: HOW TO FIX A MOIRE PATTERN:
Although Moire issues are not as common as they once were (thank goodness) they still pop up from time to time.  Here's an easy and quick way to fix these file-killers.
http://www.shootsmarter.com/infocenter/sa016.html

"PAINLESS" DATA BACKUP:
Backing up our computer data can be such a chore. In this smArticle, Will Crockett offers us an easy, solid, and "painless" way to streamline the protection of your data.  Whew!
http://www.shootsmarter.com/infocenter/wc030.html

THE TWENTY MINUTE PORTRAIT SESSION:
What does a top pros "makin' the money" digital portrait session really look like? In this smArticle, portrait photo expert Jim Tweedie illustrates the state-of-the-art of todays sessions.  And creates some great images to boot!
http://www.shootsmarter.com/infocenter/jt015.htm

THE ULTIMATE PRO SCHOOL - SHOOTSMARTER UNIVERSITY:
Congrats to Tonya Drumm for winning Buckeye Color Lab's Ultimate Studio Makeover which includes a free tuition to any ShootSmarter U class!  View her cool winning entry here.

Registration is open for...

This is the hands-on 4 day digital workflow course that was the talk of this years Texas School:
REAL LIFE DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPHY with Will Crockett March 21-24 of 2005.
http://www.shootsmarteruniversity.com/classes/wc200502_01.htm

Opening Soon...
Hands-On Digital Lighting with Chris Grey.
Fashion Photography with Amyn Nasser.
PhotoJ wedding photography with Paul Gero.
MASTER CLASS: Bold and Simple with MARC HAUSER.
Those of you who have purchased our Bold & Simple the light of Marc Hauser DVD and would like to pre-register for this class, please email to Will Crockett to be contacted in advance of registration ­ no obligation of course, but we do expect this course to fill up fast.

Plenty more courses coming!
Make plans to join us in the finest, best equipped educational facility in the world ­ ShootSmarter University.
#20678 (raspuns la: #20628) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
hehe mirela - de Belle la: 14/09/2004 22:26:28
(la: Casuta Postala A Lui LMC)
whatever it is, I didn't do it ;)

ivy e di vina...... si lemecica cu dinisor ca ele au inceput cu clatitele :P
#22308 (raspuns la: #22307) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
lemecico - de Belle la: 13/10/2004 19:49:53
(la: Trancaneala Aristocrata)
..... la astia tot timpul intra zilele-n sac, parc-au innebunit ;) da' las ca azi sparg usa la 3 jumate ca am treaba in gradina pana nu vine vreme prea rea. deja e destul de frig, dar bine ca e soare si nu ploua, ca sa nu mai zic ca-s niste culori de toamna cum n-am vazut de tare multi ani. pacat ca n-am timp sa fac niste poze sa ti le-arat.

apropos, am vrut sa-ti spun de ieri... ma gandeam la ideea ta referitoare la decoratiunile de craciun si vroiam sa te-ntreb daca pe la voi e Michaels Arts&Crafts, dar intre timp am cautat pe net si se pare ca e un magazin in Lancaster. nu stiu cat e de departe de tine (poate ca deja stii magazinul si eu bat campii de pomana) dar au foarte multe produse gen do-it-yourself-deco. daca nu stii magazinul uite aici
http://www.michaels.com/art/online/articleList?channelid=12

cam atata pe moment :)

#24985 (raspuns la: #24893) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
on the radio station - de sanjuro la: 20/01/2005 16:11:19
(la: Un nou forum: "Bancuri, glume, poante...")
Imi cer scuze pentru cei care nu cunosc lb. engleza...

On WBAM FM (Chicago) radio station, on a morning show, the DJ launches a new contest with consistent prizes.

The CONTEST was called MATE MATCH. The DJ called someone on his office, ask the person if it's married or has a significant other.

In case of positive answer, the DJ ask him 3 very personal questions after which the person is asked to provide the name and the phone number of the mate to check the answers.

If the answers are correct the couple wins a really big prize.


DJ: "Hi, this is Edgar from WBAM. Have you heard about our MATE MATCH contest ?"
HIM(laughing): "Yeah, I've heard."
DJ: "OK! So you know the prize is a 5 days trip to Orlando, Florida, in case you win. Your first name ?"
HIM: "Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married, RIGHT ?"
Brian: "Yes."
DJ: "Good. And your wife first name is ... ?"
Brian: " Sara."
DJ: "Sara is at work right now ?"
Brian (laughing): "Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Okay then ... first question - When did you two have sex last time ?"
Brian: "She's going to kill me !"
DJ: "Don't worry, Brian."
Brian: "This morning, around 8 a.m."
DJ: "Well done, man! Second question - How long did it take ?"
Brian: "About 10 minutes."
DJ: "Wow! You really want to wins this trip, right? Nobody would easily recognize this !"
Brian: "Yes, we'd really enjoy this trip."
DJ: "Okaaay ... last question - Where did you two do it ?"
Brian (laughing): "Weeeellllll .... "
DJ: "So far you did good, Brian ... come on, tell me where."
Brian: "Not there is something, but her mother lives with us for few weeks."
DJ: "Hmmm ... sounds better and better ..."
Brian: "... and my mother in law was in the shower and ... in short ... we did it on the kitchen table !"
DJ: "Isn't that great ? A real adventure ... well, my dear listeners, let's put Brian on "hold" and call the WIFE. "
DJ: "Hello. Sara's there ?"
After a short while ... Sara's on the phone :

DJ: "Hi Sara, this is Edgar from WBAM. We're on air and till now we talked couple of hours to Brian."
Sara (laughing): "Couple of hours ?"
DJ: "Well, several minutes, in fact ... he's on air with us. Do you know the rules of our MATE MATCH contest ?"
Sara: "No."
DJ: " Okaaay."
Brian: laughs.
Sara (laughing): "Brian, what in the world are you up to ?"
Brian: "Sara, you just have to give absolutely honest answers to the next questions. You gotta be absolutely honest."
DJ: "OK ... let's see ... if your answers are the same with Brian's ... you'll win a 5 days trip to Orlando, Florida. You got it, Sara ?"
Sara (laughing): "Yeah, I got it."
DJ: "Then ... let's see ... - When did you two have sex last time ?"
Sara: "O God ! Brian ...... this morning before Brian left for work."
DJ: "Good, good ... but which hour was it ?"
Sara: "I think around 8 a.m."
DJ: "Very good ... next question - How long did it take ? "
Sara: "12, 15 minutes .. probably."
DJ: "Hmmm. Close enough. I'm sure you're trying to protect his manhood. You're one question to the trip in Florida. Are you ready ?"
Sara (laughing): "Yeesss."
DJ: " Where did you two do it ?"
Sara: "Oh God, Brian ... you didn't tell them ... did you ?"
Brian: "Don't worry ... tell them."
DJ: "What's wrong Sara ... something's bothering you ?"
Sara: "Well, just that my mother is in holiday and she's living with us ......"
DJ: "And she saw you ?"
Sara: "Brian?!"
Brian: "No ... oh no, I don't ..."
DJ: "Hold it ... calm down ... I need an answer ! Please !?"
Sara: "Oh, God , I don't believe you told them such a thing !"
Brian: "Come on, honey, we're talking about a trip to Florida !"
DJ: "Come on, sis ... we don't have all day for this. Where did you two do it ?"
Sara (after a short pause): " In the ass !"

(a long, long, long silence)
DJ: "We'll be back after commercials ............. "

#33886 (raspuns la: #33180) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
ietete...... - de Belle la: 21/01/2005 16:36:25
(la: despre barbati ... fara suparare :))
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules:

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1.
Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that

1.
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1.
Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be

1.
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1.
Crying is blackmail.

1.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!

1.
‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

1.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for

1.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor

1.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days

1.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us

1.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done
Not both
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself

1.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials

1.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we

1.
ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle

1.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear

1.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really

1.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
Sex,
Sport, or
Cars

1.
You have enough clothes

1.
You have too many shoes

1.
I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education


~~~~ I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
#34066 (raspuns la: #32745) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului



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