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Stiu ca astea's vechi dar sunt anti-misogin :)) - de Ly la: 27/04/2004 13:30:38
(la: Femeia)
Subject: wife vs husband!

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of
yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

-----------------

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use
a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men..

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

--------------

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so
stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so
you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be
attracted to you!

---------------------

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then
we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you
should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him
at the top of several pages, that it indeed says...

"HEBREWS"
This message may contain privileged and/or confidential information. If you have received this e-mail in error or are not the intended recipient, you may not use, copy, disseminate or distribute it; do not open any attachments, delete it immediately from your system and notify the sender promptly by e-mail that you have done so. Thank you.

---------------

Acum ca am restaurant ceva din balanta pe aici..... :)))


Medical analysis - de Horia D la: 18/05/2004 11:02:15
(la: Banc: doi mosi pe o banca...)

One day, in line at the cafeteria, Bob says to Stanley behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Stan replies "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Bob deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He
deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Bob hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and waits.

The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab...
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

And, as always, thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.
In nici un caz nu o sa vina l - de Eda la: 07/08/2004 18:12:50
(la: Pana unde merge recunostinta fata de parinti?)
In nici un caz nu o sa vina la ai mei acasa sa le ceara de mancare, bani si toate alea.
Planuri de viitor? Vrem sa ramanem impreuna, sa avem o familie si o viata normala. Sa ne iubim atat cat putem. Planuri amanuntite nu facem pentru ca mi s-a intamplat de multe ori sa nu iasa. We're taking one day at its time.
Imi iubesc parintii, ii respect, fata de alti parinti (si am vazut destui) sunt extraordinari. Dar, cum am mai spus, eu vreau sa-mi traiesc viata, cu toate greutatile ei.
#19299 (raspuns la: #19249) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
Pentru cei care citesc Engleza - de LMC la: 02/09/2004 01:20:55
(la: Cum sa devii un liberal de nota 10!)
Dupa cum multi dintre voi stiti saptamina asta se desfasoara conventia partidului Republican. Aseara Arnold Schwarzenegger a vorbit, iar astazi toate programele de radio si televizor si toate ziarele sau concentrat asupra speech-ului lui Arnold. Cei care doresc sa afle ce a spus mai jos puteti citi speech-ul lui. Tot aici puteti afla cine sint Republicanii si care este platforma partidului Republican. Citire placuta.

****************************************

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger

Thank you.

What a greeting! This is like winning an Oscar! ...As if I would know!

Speaking of acting, one of my movies was called "True Lies." It's what the Democrats should have called their convention.

My fellow Americans, this is an amazing moment for me. To think that a once-scrawny boy from Austria could grow up to become Governor of California and stand in Madison Square Garden to speak on behalf of the President of the United States that is an immigrant's dream. It is the American dream.

I was born in Europe ...and I've traveled all over the world. I can tell you that there is no place, no country, more compassionate more generous more accepting and more welcoming than the United States of America.

As long as I live, I will never forget that day 21 years ago when I raised my hand and took the oath of citizenship.

Do you know how proud I was? I was so proud that I walked around with an American flag around my shoulders all day long.

Tonight, I want to talk about why I'm even more proud to be an American -why I'm proud to be a Republican and why I believe this country is in good hands.

When I was a boy, the Soviets occupied part of Austria. I saw their tanks in the streets .I saw communism with my own eyes. I remember the fear we had when we had to cross into the Soviet sector. Growing up, we were told, "Don't look the soldiers in the eye. Look straight ahead." It was a common belief that Soviet soldiers could take a man out of his own car and ship him off to the Soviet Union as slave labor.

My family didn't have a car -- but one day we were in my uncle's car. It was near dark as we came to a Soviet checkpoint. I was a little boy, I wasn't an action hero back then, and I remember how scared I was that the soldiers would pull my father or my uncle out of the car, and I'd never see him again. My family and so many others lived in fear of the Soviet boot. Today, the world no longer fears the Soviet Union and it is because of the United States of America!

As a kid I saw the socialist country that Austria became after the Soviets left. I love Austria and I love the Austrian people - but I always knew America was the place for me.

In school, when the teacher would talk about America, I would daydream about coming here. I would sit for hours watching American movies transfixed by my heroes like John Wayne. Everything about America seemed so big to me so open, so possible.

I finally arrived here in 1968.I had empty pockets, but I was full of dreams. The presidential campaign was in full swing. I remember watching the Nixon and Humphrey presidential race on TV. A friend who spoke German and English, translated for me. I heard Humphrey saying things that sounded like socialism which is what I had just left. But then I heard Nixon speak. He was talking about free enterprise, getting government off your back, lowering taxes, and strengthening the military. Listening to Nixon speak sounded more like a breath of fresh air.

I said to my friend, "What party is he?" My friend said, "He's a Republican." I said, "Then I am a Republican!" And I've been a Republican ever since! And trust me, in my wife's family, that's no small achievement! I'm proud to belong to the party of Abraham Lincoln, the party of Teddy Roosevelt, the party of Ronald Reagan and the party of George W. Bush.

To my fellow immigrants listening tonight, I want you to know how welcome you are in this party. We Republicans admire your ambition. We encourage your dreams. We believe in your future. One thing I learned about America is that if you work hard and play by the rules, this country is truly open to you. You can achieve anything.

Everything I have my career my success my family I owe to America. In this country, it doesn't make any difference where you were born. It doesn't make any difference who your parents were. It doesn't make any difference if, like me, you couldn't even speak English until you were in your twenties.

America gave me opportunities, and my immigrant dreams came true. I want other people to get the same chances I did, the same opportunities. And I believe they can. That's why I believe in this country, that's why I believe in this party and that's why I believe in this President.

Now, many of you out there tonight are "Republican" like me in your hearts and in your beliefs. Maybe you're from Guatemala. Maybe you're from the Philippines. Maybe Europe or the Ivory Coast. Maybe you live in Ohio Pennsylvania or New Mexico. And maybe just maybe you don't agree with this party on every single issue. I say to you tonight I believe that's not only okay that's what's great about this country. Here

we can respectfully disagree and still be patriotic still be American and still be good Republicans

My fellow immigrants, my fellow Americans how do you know if you are a Republican? I'll tell you how.

If you believe that government should be accountable to the people, not the people to the government...then you are a Republican! If you believe a person should be treated as an individual, not as a member of an interest group... then you are a Republican! If you believe your family knows how to spend your money better than the government does... then you are a Republican! If you believe our educational system should be held accountable for the progress of our children ... then you are a Republican! If you believe this country, not the United Nations, is the best hope of democracy in the world ... then you are a Republican! And, ladies and gentlemen ...if you believe we must be fierce and relentless and terminate terrorism ... then you are a Republican!

There is another way you can tell you're a Republican. You have faith in free enterprise, faith in the resourcefulness of the American people ...and faith in the U.S. economy. To those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: Don't be economic girlie men!

The U.S. economy remains the envy of the world. We have the highest economic growth of any of the world's major industrialized nations. Don't you remember the pessimism of twenty years ago when the critics said Japan and Germany were overtaking the U.S.? Ridiculous!

Now they say India and China are overtaking us. Don't you believe it! We may hit a few BUMPS -- but America always moves ahead! That's what Americans do!

We move prosperity ahead. We move freedom ahead. We move people ahead. Under President Bush, and Vice President Cheney, America's economy is moving ahead in spite of a recession they inherited and in spite of the attack on our homeland.

Now, the other party says there are two Americas. Don't believe that either. I've visited our troops in Iraq, Kuwait, Bosnia, Germany, and all over the world. I've visited our troops in California, where they train before they go overseas. And I've visited our military hospitals. And I can tell you this: Our young men and women in uniform do not believe there are two Americas!

They believe we are one America and they are fighting for it! We are one America - and President Bush is defending it with all his heart and soul!

That's what I admire most about the President. He's a man of perseverance.

He's a man of inner strength. He is a leader who doesn't flinch, doesn't waiver, does not back down. My fellow Americans, make no mistake about it terrorism is more insidious than communism, because it yearns to destroy not just the individual but the entire international order.

The President didn't go into Iraq because the polls told him it was popular. As a matter of fact, the polls said just the opposite. But leadership isn't about polls. It's about making decisions you think are right and then standing behind those decisions. That's why America is safer with George W. Bush as President.

He knows you don't reason with terrorists. You defeat them. He knows you can't reason with people blinded by hate. They hate the power of the individual. They hate the progress of women. They hate the religious freedom of others. They hate the liberating breeze of democracy. But, ladies and gentlemen, their hate is no match for America's decency.

We're the America that sends out Peace Corps volunteers to teach village children.

We're the America that sends out missionaries and doctors to raise up the poor and the sick. We're the America that gives more than any other country, to fight AIDS in Africa and the developing world. And we're the America that fights not for imperialism but for human rights and democracy.

You know, When the Germans brought down the Berlin Wall America's determination helped wield the sledgehammers. When that lone, young Chinese man stood in front of those tanks in Tiananmen Square America's hopes stood with him. And when

Nelson Mandela smiled in election victory after all those years in prison America celebrated, too.

We are still the lamp lighting the world especially for those who struggle. No matter in what labor camp they slave no matter in what injustice they're trapped -- they hear our call ... they see our light ... and they feel the pull of our freedom. They come here as I did because they believe. They believe in US.

They come because their hearts say to them, as mine did, "If only I can get to America." Someone once wrote -"There are those who say that freedom is nothing but a dream." They are right. It's the American dream.

No matter the nationality, no matter the religion, no matter the ethnic background, America brings out the best in people. And as Governor of the great state of California -- I see the best in Americans every day ... our police, our firefighters our nurses, doctors and teachers our parents.

And what about the extraordinary men and women who have volunteered to fight for the United States of America! I have such great respect for them and their heroic families.

Let me tell you about the sacrifice and commitment I've seen firsthand. In one of the military hospitals I visited, I met a young guy who was in bad shape. He'd lost a leg had a hole in his stomach ... his shoulder had been shot through.

I could tell there was no way he could ever return to combat. But when I asked him, "When do you think you'll get out of the hospital?" He said, "Sir, in three weeks." And do you know what he said to me then? He said he was going to get a new leg ... and get some therapy ... and then he was going back to Iraq to serve alongside his buddies! He grinned at me and said, "Arnold ... I'll be back!"

Ladies and gentlemen, America is back! back from the attack on our homeland- back from the attack on our economy back from the attack on our way of life. We're back because of the perseverance, character and leadership of the 43rd President of the United States George W. Bush.

My fellow Americans ...I want you to know that I believe with all my heart that America remains "the great idea" that inspires the world. It's a privilege to be born here. It's an honor to become a citizen here. It's a gift to raise your family here to vote here and to live here.

Our president George W. Bush has worked hard to protect and preserve the American dream for all of us. That's why I say ... send - him - back to Washington for four more years!

Thank you, America -- and God bless you all!
************************************************
Hi Mirelav, ma bag si eu.. - de Ivy la: 14/09/2004 19:00:56
(la: inginer mecanic)
Hi Mirelav,

ma bag si eu.. Locul unde ma aflu eu nu este SUA, dar iti pot spune despre una dintre prietenele mele care e tot inginer mecanic si a reusit deci intr-o alta tzara. Ea a terminat parca in 1994, si aici cind a ajuns citiva ani nu a lucrat ca inginer mecanic. Apo s-a decis sa afle ce are de facut..a dat ceva examene, a fost extrem de perseverenta si a capatat un job de inginer mecanic. este happy, lucreaza mai mult in Los Angeles (acolo fiind compania mama) si are succes enorm in ceea ce face. I-au trebuit 2 ani in total (nepunind la socoteala anii in care "a uitat cu desavirsire despre inginerie", cum ea spune) si a ajuns acolo unde a dorit. Uneori spune ca este aleasa ea pentru unele projects in devfavoarea multor barbati din firma ingineri mecanici ca si ea.

So, succes si one day ai sa fii acolo unde iti doresti..

Ivy
toamna tarzie - de stanescoo la: 08/11/2004 10:38:10
(la: O conversatie cu DINU LAZAR, fotograf)
noi am fost la giurgiu, sa vedem dunarea (sau ceva), de fapt am fost ca sa iesim din bucuresti...cam multa ceatza, cam putin soare...interesant oricum, one-day-trip bucuresti-giurgiu-oltenita-bucuresti...cand sunt gata pozele, pun aici :)

pana atunci, cu stima
lucian stanescu
#28032 (raspuns la: #28002) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
fetele - de Belle la: 11/03/2005 21:39:03
(la: Trancaneala Aristocrata "2")
eu mai am nitel si ma opresc ca nu mai poci

serbus crisa, chiar ca nu te vazuram de nshpe mii de ani

va las cu asta intre timp

Don`t Step On The Ducks

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in
heaven: don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over
the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although
they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps
on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for
stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and
along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another
extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be
chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where
she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one
day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being
chained to you for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
#39162 (raspuns la: #39161) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
china nu v-a fi o mina de aur pentru vest... - de (anonim) la: 30/04/2005 04:18:05
(la: Doua Romanii)
Contract manufactuing este una si sa investesti sa set-up manufacturing este alta. Din '94 am instalat 4 fabrici mari in China, in Guangzhou, Xi'an, Cheng Du si Shanghai si am negociat toate conditziile cu autoritatzile locale. Fabrici care sint acolo pentru termen lung nu "one day shifty business". Pina si salariul meu a trebuit sa mi-l platesc in Hong Kong si Elvetzia pentru ca nu -las fi putut scoate legal din China.

Bineinteles ca chinezul nu va avea aceeasi putere de cumparare pe plan international (US$1 = 8000 CNRMB) dar in China isi va putea permite sa traiasca cel putin la fel de bine ca si americanul la el acasa.

Cred ca numarul chinezilor bogatzi este ceva mai mare de 2500...
China si India au cel ma mare numar de "middle class". Aproape 15% din populatie. In procente este putin in comparatie cu tarile vestice... Dar ca numar absolut??? Si astia consuma, pentru ca ei nu-si pun problema pensiei, asigurarii medicale si altele care erodeaza 40% din venitul salariatului de rind din tzarile vestice.

In Australia + Canada sint peste 200 de mii de studentzi straini, venitzi din China, si care platesc in jur de AU/CA$ 30K pe an de studiu plus intretzinerea lor. (Vorbesc de cei din mainland China nu i-am pus la numar pe cei din Hong Kong, Singapore si Taiwan). Astia sint copii din middle class care nu-si pot asigura un loc in universitazile din Beijing, Shanghai sau Xi'an etc... unde standardele sint mult prea inalte, asa ca platesc pentru o "diploma". Un sarac nu-si permite sa cumpere titluri universitare pentru copii.

Cred ca multzi subestimeaza China si asta este una din greselile pe care vestul le face. Ii ajutam sa creasca si vor creste repede.
Mi se pare ca undeva in Biblie spune ca "rasa galbena va domina pamintul"... si se pare ca este unul din putzinele lucruri pe care sa se adevereasca.




======================================
"Daca apa din fintina s-ar preface in Cotnar
As lasa limba romana si m-as face fintinar"
#46441 (raspuns la: #46412) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
samadhi - de (anonim) la: 01/05/2005 04:24:20
(la: Cata importanta are diferenta mare de varsta intre parteneri?)
Este grozav de frumos ce spui, si foarte romantic. Din nefericire viata este "realitate"! Este realitatea de zi cu zi, cu bucuriile, tristetile, enervarea si stress-ul... Este destul un moment de realitatea sa te faca sa te trezesti din "visul unei nopti de vara" si sa te proiecteze in lumea reala.
Oricit ai fi de indragostit si de cuprins de farmecul spiritual al pertenerului tau este imposibil ca "one day" sa nu vezi ridurile de pe fata, stratul adipos care ingroasa talia, o bucata piele care atirna sub muschiul triceps... o miscare mai rapida urmata de o grimasa de durere de sciatica... si daca nu esti in acelasi stadiu fizic de imbatrinire... icepi sa faci compari stomakul tau inca suplu cu burta atirninda a ceilulalt, pielea ta inca intinsa si catifelata... cu ridurile si pielea uscata a ceiluluit... dintr-o data incepi sa simti ca atingerea ceiluilalt care ti-a oferit atita ZEN... incepe sa devina repulsiva.... Si atunci? Cel care te-a iubit incepe sa simta ca a devenity out of place, daca este realist si incearca sa te inteleaga si sa-ti ofere libertatea, dar bineinteles cu inima rupta... daca nu incepe sa devina gelos, sa-ti faca viata un iad... si tot ce a fost frumos devine ura si nimicnicie... devine meschin cu scandaluri si poate cu accese de violenta...



======================================
"Daca apa din fintina s-ar preface in Cotnar
As lasa limba romana si m-as face fintinar"
#46552 (raspuns la: #46454) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
don - de Belle la: 05/05/2005 18:39:33
(la: Trancaneala Aristocrata "2")
naaaah, si-a facut efectul da' era musai sa comentez... evident ca imi
statea pe limba un comentariu si la "mare si tare" dar va las voua
baietilor placerea sa combateti preferintele feminine ;)

uite am si eu un banc pentru tine

Why God created Eve

1. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the
garden because he would not ask for directions.

2. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and
hand him the remote.

3. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf
when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

4. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist's or
haircut appointment by himself

5. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the
garbage on the curb

6. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able
to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

7. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he
left his tools.

8. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God
caught him hiding in the garden

9. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone."

10. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back,
scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that."


#47139 (raspuns la: #47136) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
banc - de donquijote la: 04/08/2005 09:23:02
(la: Trancaneala Aristocrata "4")
Modern version of the Birds & the Bees

Little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?" The father
answers:
"Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and
I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via
e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded
room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as
I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a
firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months

later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: You've Got Male!"
cassandra - de om la: 11/08/2005 17:25:13
(la: Oamenii nu se trag din maimuta)
mersic de biblio...adevarat ca am citit cate ceva din fiecare cand eram mic, dar de asemenea, eram unpic razboinic si "vedeam" cam in genul "what I'd say to martians " by Jack Handey
WHAT I’D SAY TO THE MARTIANS
by Jack Handey
Issue of 2005-08-08 and 15
Posted 2005-08-01


People of Mars, you say we are brutes and savages. But let me tell you one thing: if I could get loose from this cage you have me in, I would tear you guys a new Martian asshole.You say we are violent and barbaric, but has any one of you come up to my cage and extended his hand? Because, if he did, I would jerk it off and eat it right in front of him. “Mmm, that’s good Martian,” I would say.

You say your civilization is more advanced than ours. But who is really the more “civilized” one? You, standing there watching this cage? Or me, with my pants down, trying to urinate on you? You criticize our Earth religions, saying they have no relevance to the way we actually live. But think about this: if I could get my hands on that god of yours, I would grab his skinny neck and choke him until his big green head exploded.

We are a warlike species, you claim, and you show me films of Earth battles to prove it. But I have seen all the films about twenty times. Get some new films, or, so help me, if I ever get out of here I will empty my laser pistol into everyone I see, even pets.

Speaking of films, I could show you some films, films that portray a different, gentler side of Earth. And while you’re watching the films I’d sort of slip away, because guess what: the projector is actually a thing that shoots out spinning blades! And you fell for it! Well, maybe not now you wouldn’t.

You point to your long tradition of living peacefully with Earth. But you know what I point to? Your stupid heads.

You say there is much your civilization could teach ours. But perhaps there is something that I could teach you—namely, how to scream like a parrot when I put your big Martian head in a vise.

You claim there are other intelligent beings in the galaxy besides earthlings and Martians. Good, then we can attack them together. And after we’re through attacking them we’ll attack you.

I came here in peace, seeking gold and slaves. But you have treated me like an intruder. Maybe it is not me who is the intruder but you.

No, not me. You, stupid.

You keep my body imprisoned in this cage. But I am able to transport my mind to a place far away, a happier place, where I use Martian heads for batting practice.

I admit that sometimes I think we are not so different after all. When you see one of your old ones trip and fall down, do you not point and laugh, just as we on Earth do? And I think we can agree that nothing is more admired by the people of Earth and Mars alike than a fine, high-quality cigarette. For fun, we humans like to ski down mountains covered with snow; you like to“milk” bacteria off of scum hills and pack them into your gill slits. Are we so different? Of course we are, and you will be even more different if I ever finish my homemade flamethrower.

You may kill me, either on purpose or by not making sure that all the surfaces in my cage are safe to lick. But you can’t kill an idea. And that idea is: me chasing you with a big wooden mallet.

You say you will release me only if I sign a statement saying that I will not attack you. And I have agreed, the only condition being that I can sign with a long sharp pen. And still you keep me locked up.

True, you have allowed me reading material—not the “human reproduction” magazines I requested but the works of your greatest philosopher, Zandor or Zanax or whatever his name is. I would like to discuss his ideas with him—just me, him, and one of his big, heavy books.

If you will not free me, at least deliver a message to Earth. Send my love to my wife, and also to my girlfriend. And to my children, if I have any anyplace. Ask my wife to please send me a bazooka, which is a flower we have on Earth. If my so-called friend Don asks you where the money I owe him is, please anally probe him. Do that anyway.

If you keep me imprisoned long enough, eventually I will die. Because one thing you Martians do not understand is that we humans cannot live without our freedom. So, if you see me lying lifeless in my cage, come on in, because I’m dead. Really.

Maybe one day we will not be the enemies you make us out to be. Perhaps one day a little Earth child will sit down to play with a little Martian child, or larva, or whatever they are. But, after a while, guess what happens: the little Martian tries to eat the Earth child. But guess what the Earth child has? A gun. You weren’t expecting that, were you? And now the Martian child is running away, as fast as he can. Run, little Martian baby, run!

I would like to thank everyone for coming to my cage tonight to hear my speech. Donations will be gratefully accepted. (No Mars money, please.)
#64837 (raspuns la: #64717) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
bleah - de Belle la: 26/08/2005 15:52:57
(la: Trancaneala Aristocrata "5")
nu se intampla nimic in asia, crede-ma.... mi-a luat 20 de minute sa dau un fax in thailanda.... puck-ul ei de stone age

auzi, pe asta il stii?

The Italian who went to Malta
(read with Italian accent, those who cannot, suffer !)

One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say, you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna me bitch !!

Later I go to eat at a bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch.

So, I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. I call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy!!!

#68158 (raspuns la: #68157) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
banc de dimineata - de Horia D la: 03/10/2005 15:44:13
(la: Trancaneala Aristocrata "6")
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear and preach to it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first.

"Wellll," he says, in a fine Irish brouge, "Ey wint oot into th' wooods to fynd me a bearr. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to rread to him from the Baltimorre Catechism Welll, thet bearr wanted naught to do wi' me und begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grrabbed me holy water and, THE SAINT! S BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him fierst communion und confierrmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle...WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOOOOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY NO! He wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we come to a crick. So I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jus like you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOLY word."

They both look down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Oy! You don't know what tough is until you try to circumcise one of those creatures.
#76413 (raspuns la: #76409) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
P-M for one day - de Pablo la: 09/11/2005 16:31:09
(la: prim-ministru pentru o zi!)
Daca ar fi sa ma loveasca soarta cu "un asa mare necaz",mi-as umple buzunarele cu cat de multe pot duce,mi-as aranja un trai decent la capatul lumii si inainte de plecare as reintroduce legea cu privire la pedeapsa cu moartea si as face presiuni ca unii precum V.C.T.& Co. sa fie dati pe mana justitiei pentru deservicii facute natiunii romane.
ultimele, parol! - de om la: 12/12/2005 20:07:49
(la: Pentru orice problema exista o solutie)
The Puzzles
The man in the Elevator
A man lives on the tenth floor of a building. Every day he takes the elevator to go down to the ground floor to go to work or to go shopping. When he returns he takes the elevator to the seventh floor and walks up the stairs to reach his apartment on the tenth floor. He hates walking so why does he do it?
This is probably the best known and most celebrated of all lateral thinking puzzles. It is a true classic. Although there are many possible solutions which fit the initial conditions, only the canonical answer is truly satisfying.


The Man who Hanged Himself
Not far from Madrid, there is a large wooden barn. The barn is completely empty except for a dead man hanging from the middle of the central rafter. The rope around his neck is ten feet long and his feet are three feet off the ground. The nearest wall is 20 feet away from the man. It is not possible to climb up the walls or along the rafters. The man hanged himself. How did he do it?

Death in a Field
A man is lying dead in a field. Next to him there is an unopened package. There is no other creature in the field. How did he die?

Anthony and Cleopatra
Anthony and Cleopatra are lying dead on the floor of a villa in Egypt. Nearby is a broken bowl. There is no mark on either of their bodies and they were not poisoned. How did they die?


The Coal, Carrot and Scarf
Five pieces of coal, a carrot and a scarf are lying on the lawn. Nobody put them on the lawn but there is a perfectly logical reason why they should be there. What is it?


Trouble with Sons
A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year. But they were not twins, and they were not adopted. How could this be so?

Push that Car
A man pushed his car. He stopped when he reached a hotel at which point he knew he was bankrupt. Why?

The Arm of the Postal Service
One day a man received a parcel in the post. Carefully packed inside was a human arm. He examined it, repacked it and then sent it on to another man. The second man also carefully examined the arm before taking it to the woods and burying it. Why did they do this?
This one probably has more variations than any other. A great one to puzzle out. It requires plenty of good questions.


Heaven
A man died and went to Heaven. There were thousands of other people there. They were all naked and all looked as they did at the age of 21. He looked around to see if there was anyone he recognised. He saw a couple and he knew immediately that they were Adam and Eve. How did he know?


Friday
A man rode into town on Friday. He stayed for three nights and then left on Friday. How come?
A silly one - but it is surprisingly popular.


Manhole Covers
Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones?
This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle which can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a very well-known software company as an interview question for prospective employees.



The Deadly Party
A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left early. Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently died of poisoning. Why did the man not die?

The Deadly Dish
Two men went into a restaurant. They both ordered the same dish from the menu. After they tasted it, one of the men went outside the restaurant and shot himself. Why?


The Realization
A man was walking downstairs in a building when he suddenly realized that his wife had just died. How?


The Blind Beggar
A blind beggar had a brother who died. What relation was the blind beggar to the brother who died? (Brother is not the answer).

The Broken Match
A man is found dead in a field. He is clutching a broken match. What happened?


The Music Stopped
The music stopped. She died. Explain.

Swimmer in the Forest
Deep in the forest was found the body of a man who was wearing only swimming trunks, snorkel and facemask. The nearest lake was 8 miles away and the sea was 100 miles away. How had he died?
This is supposedly based on a true incident. Does this make it an urban legend? Many urban legends can be restated as lateral thinking puzzles. This is a very good one of this type.


The Elder Twin
One day Kerry celebrated her birthday. Two days later her older twin brother, Terry, celebrated his birthday. How come?


#94717 (raspuns la: #94699) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
Sadly, an Honest Creationist - de Cassandra la: 18/12/2005 23:11:34
(la: Oamenii nu se trag din maimuta)
by Richard Dawkins

Reproduc acest articol, este lung dar merita lectura cu prisosinta:

Creation “scientists” have more need than most of us to parade their degrees and qualifications, but it pays to look closely at the institutions that awarded them and the subjects in which they were taken. Those vaunted Ph.D.s tend to be in subjects such as marine engineering or gas kinetics rather than in relevant disciplines like zoology or geology. And often they are earned not at real universities, but at little-known Bible colleges deep in Bush country.

There are, however, a few shining exceptions. Kurt Wise now makes his living at Bryan College (motto “Christ Above All”) located in Dayton, Tennessee, home of the famed Scopes trial. And yet, he originally obtained an authentic degree in geophysics from the University of Chicago, followed by a Ph.D. in geology from Harvard, no less, where he studied under (the name is milked for all it is worth in creationist propaganda) Stephen Jay Gould.

Kurt Wise is a contributor to , a compendium edited by John F. Ashton (Ph.D., of course). I recommend this book. It is a revelation. I would not have believed such wishful thinking and self-deception possible. At least some of the authors seem to be sincere, and they don’t water down their beliefs. Much of their fire is aimed at weaker brethren who think God works through evolution, or who clutch at the feeble hope that one “day” in Genesis might mean not twenty-four hours but a hundred million years. These are hard-core “young earth creationists” who believe that the universe and all of life came into existence within one week, less than 10,000 years ago. And Wise—flying valiantly in the face of reason, evidence, and education—is among them. If there were a prize for Virtuoso Believing (it is surely only a matter of time before the Templeton Foundation awards one) Kurt Wise, B.A. (Chicago), Ph.D. (Harvard), would have to be a prime candidate.

Wise stands out among young earth creationists not only for his impeccable education, but because he displays a modicum of scientific honesty and integrity. I have seen a published letter in which he comments on alleged “human bones” in Carboniferous coal deposits. If authenticated as human, these “bones” would blow the theory of evolution out of the water (incidentally giving lie to the canard that evolution is unfalsifiable and therefore unscientific: J. B. S. Haldane, asked by an overzealous Popperian what empirical finding might falsify evolution, famously growled, “Fossil rabbits in the Precambrian!”). Most creationists would not go out of their way to debunk a promising story of human remains in the Pennsylvanian Coal Measures. Yet Wise patiently and seriously examined the specimens as a trained paleontologist, and concluded unequivocally that they were “inorganically precipitated iron siderite nodules and not fossil material at all.” Unusually among the motley denizens of the “big tent” of creationism and intelligent design, he seems to accept that God needs no help from false witness.

All the more interesting, then, to read his personal testimony in In . It is actually quite moving, in a pathetic kind of way. He begins with his childhood ambition. Where other boys wanted to be astronauts or firemen, the young Kurt touchingly dreamed of getting a Ph.D. from Harvard and teaching science at a major university. He achieved the first part of his goal, but became increasingly uneasy as his scientific learning conflicted with his religious faith. When he could bear the strain no longer, he clinched the matter with a Bible and a pair of scissors. He went right through from Genesis 1 to Revelations 22, literally cutting out every verse that would have to go if the scientific worldview were true. At the end of this exercise, there was so little left of his Bible that

. . . try as I might, and even with the benefit of intact margins throughout the pages of Scripture, I found it impossible to pick up the Bible without it being rent in two. I had to make a decision between evolution and Scripture. Either the Scripture was true and evolution was wrong or evolution was true and I must toss out the Bible. . . . It was there that night that I accepted the Word of God and rejected all that would ever counter it, including evolution. With that, in great sorrow, I tossed into the fire all my dreams and hopes in science.

See what I mean about pathetic? Most revealing of all is Wise’s concluding paragraph:

Although there are scientific reasons for accepting a young earth, I am a young-age creationist because that is my understanding of the Scripture. As I shared with my professors years ago when I was in college, if all the evidence in the universe turns against creationism, I would be the first to admit it, but I would still be a creationist because that is what the Word of God seems to indicate. Here I must stand.

See what I mean about honest? Understandably enough, creationists who aspire to be taken seriously as scientists don’t go out of their way to admit that Scripture—a local origin myth of a tribe of Middle-Eastern camel-herders—trumps evidence. The great evolutionist John Maynard Smith, who once publicly wiped the floor with Duane P. Gish (up until then a highly regarded creationist debater), did it by going on the offensive right from the outset and challenging him directly: “Do you seriously mean to tell me you believe that all life was created within one week?”

Kurt Wise doesn’t need the challenge; he volunteers that, even if all the evidence in the universe flatly contradicted Scripture, and even if he had reached the point of admitting this to himself, he would still take his stand on Scripture and deny the evidence. This leaves me, as a scientist, speechless. I cannot imagine what it must be like to have a mind capable of such doublethink. It reminds me of Winston Smith in struggling to believe that two plus two equals five if Big Brother said so. But that was fiction and, anyway, Winston was tortured into submission. Kurt Wise—and presumably others like him who are less candid—has suffered no such physical coercion. But, as I hinted at the end of my previous column, I do wonder whether childhood indoctrination could wreak a sufficiently powerful brainwashing effect to account for this bizarre phenomenon.

Whatever the underlying explanation, this example suggests a fascinating, if pessimistic, conclusion about human psychology. It implies that there is no sensible limit to what the human mind is capable of believing, against any amount of contrary evidence. Depending upon how many Kurt Wises are out there, it could mean that we are completely wasting our time arguing the case and presenting the evidence for evolution. We have it on the authority of a man who may well be creationism’s most highly qualified and most intelligent scientist that no evidence, no matter how overwhelming, no matter how all-embracing, no matter how devastatingly convincing, can ever make any difference.

Can you imagine believing that and at the same time accepting a salary, month after month, to teach science? Even at Bryan College in Dayton, Tennessee? I’m not sure that I could live with myself. And I think I would curse my God for leading me to such a pass.

Richard Dawkins is the Charles Simonyi Professor of Public Understanding of Science at Oxford University. An evolutionary biologist and prolific author and lecturer


____________
"Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived" Isaac Asimov
banc - de Horia D la: 22/12/2005 22:30:29
(la: Trancaneala Aristocrata "7")
POLISH DIVORCE                                                            
                                                                           
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although   
his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one
day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick."                                           
                                                                           
The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on  
the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:                 
                                                                           
LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"                                           
                                                                           
POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."                       
                                                                           
LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"                
                                                                           
POLE: "It made of concrete."                                              
                                                                           
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"                          
                                                                           
POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one."                            
                                                                           
LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"                           
                                                                           
POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."                                 
                                                                           
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"                       
                                                                           
POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."          
                                                                           
LAWYER: "Does your wife beat you up?"                                     
                                                                           
POLE: "No, I always up before her."                                       
                                                                           
LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"                                          
                                                                           
POLE: "No, she white."                                                    
                                                                           
LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"                                   
                                                                           
POLE: "She going to kill me."                                             
                                                                           
LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"                                      
                                                                           
POLE: "I got proof."                                                      
                                                                           
LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"                                             
                                                                           
POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put
on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, Polish Remover'."
#96652 (raspuns la: #96636) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
PRTL - part 3 - de Horia D la: 29/01/2006 00:22:43
(la: long live the stock market!!)

VectorVest Stock Analysis of Primus Telecom as of 1/27/2006


This report has five major sections.
Capital Appreciation Analysis
Dividend Analysis
Price-Volume Data
Sales / Market Capitalization Information
Summary



Business: PRIMUS TELECOMM GROUP INC, (PRTL) provides bundled international and domestic Internet, data and voice services to business and residential retail customers and other carriers located in the United States, Canada, Brazil, the UK, continental Europe, Australia and Japan.
Business Sector: PRTL has been assigned to the Telecomm Business Sector. VectorVest classifies stocks into over 200 Industry Groups and 40 Business Sectors.
Industry Group: PRTL has been assigned to the Telecomm (Services) Industry Group. VectorVest classifies stocks into over 200 Industry Groups and 40 Business Sectors.

Capital Appreciation Analysis Back to top

Value: Value is a measure of a stock's current worth. PRTL has a current Value of $0.07 per share. Therefore, it is overvalued compared to its Price of $0.82 per share. Value is computed from forecasted earnings per share, forecasted earnings growth, profitability, interest, and inflation rates. Value increases when earnings, earnings growth rate and profitability increase, and when interest and inflation rates decrease. VectorVest advocates the purchase of undervalued stocks. At some point in time, a stock's Price and Value always will converge.

RV (Relative Value): RV is an indicator of long-term price appreciation potential. PRTL has an RV of 0.10, which is very poor on a scale of 0.00 to 2.00. This indicator is far superior to a simple comparison of Price and Value because it is computed from an analysis of projected price appreciation three years out, AAA Corporate Bond Rates, and risk. RV solves the riddle of whether it is preferable to buy High growth, High P/E stocks, or Low growth, Low P/E stocks. VectorVest favors the purchase of stocks with RV ratings above 1.00.

RS (Relative Safety): RS is an indicator of risk. PRTL has an RS rating of 0.65, which is poor on a scale of 0.00 to 2.00. RS is computed from an analysis of the consistency and predictability of a company's financial performance, debt to equity ratio, sales volume, business longevity, price volatility and other factors. A stock with an RS rating greater than 1.00 is safer and more predictable than the average stock in the VectorVest database. VectorVest favors the purchase of stocks of companies with consistent, predictable financial performance.

RT (Relative Timing): RT is a fast, smart, accurate indicator of a stock's price trend. PRTL has a Relative Timing rating of 0.91, which is fair on a scale of 0.00 to 2.00. RT is computed from an analysis of the direction, magnitude, and dynamics of a stock's price movements over one day, one week, one quarter and one year time periods. Once a stock's price has established a strong trend, it is expected to continue in that trend for the short-term. If a trend dissipates, RT will gravitate toward 1.00. RT will explode from bottoms, dive from tops, and reflect changes in price momentum. VectorVest favors the purchase of stocks with RT ratings above 1.00.

VST (VST-Vector): VST is the master indicator for ranking every stock in the VectorVest database. PRTL has a VST rating of 0.68, which is poor on a scale of 0.00 to 2.00. VST is computed from the square root of a weighted sum of the squares of RV, RS, and RT. Stocks with the highest VST ratings have the best combinations of Value, Safety and Timing. These are the stocks to own for above average, long-term capital appreciation. VectorVest advocates the purchase of safe, undervalued stocks rising in price.

Recommendation (REC): VectorVest gives a Buy, Sell, Hold recommendation on every stock, every day. PRTL has a Hold recommendation. REC reflects the cumulative effect of all the VectorVest parameters working together. These parameters are designed to help investors buy safe, undervalued stocks rising in price. They also help investors avoid or sell risky, overvalued stocks falling in price. VectorVest recommends that investors buy high VST-Vector, Buy-rated stocks in rising markets.












Stop (Stop-Price): Stop is an indicator of when to sell a long position or cover a short position. PRTL has a Stop of $0.77 per share. This is $0.05 below PRTL's current closing Price. A stock's Stop is computed from a 13 week moving average of its closing prices, and is fine-tuned according to the stock's fundamentals. High RV, high RS stocks have lower Stops, and low RV, low RS stocks have higher Stops. In the VectorVest system, a stock gets a 'B' or 'H' recommendation if its Price is above its Stop and an 'S' recommendation if its Price is below its Stop.

GRT (Earnings Growth Rate): GRT reflects a company's one to three year forecasted earnings growth rate in percent per year. PRTL has a forecasted Earnings Growth Rate of -5.00%, which VectorVest considers to be very poor. GRT is computed from historical, current and forecasted earnings data. It is updated each week for every stock in the VectorVest database. GRT often foretells a stock's future price trend. If a stock's GRT trend is upward, the stock's price will likely rise. If GRT is trending downward, the stock's Price will probably fall. VectorVest favors the purchase of stocks whose GRT is rising and is greater than the sum of current inflation and interest rates, (9.13%).

EPS (Earnings per Share): EPS stands for leading 12 months Earnings Per Share. PRTL has a forecasted EPS of $-0.81 per share. VectorVest determines this forecast from a combination of recent earnings performance and traditional fiscal and/or calendar year earnings forecasts.

P/E (Price to Earnings Ratio): P/E is a popular measure of stock valuation which shows the dollars required to buy one dollar of earnings. PRTL has a P/E of -1.01. This ratio may be deemed to be high or low depending upon your frame of reference. The average P/E of all the stocks in the VectorVest database is 30.50. P/E is computed daily using the formula: P/E = Price/EPS.

EY (Earnings Yield): EY reflects earnings per share as a percent of Price. EY is related to P/E via the formula, EY = 100 / (P/E), and may be used in place of P/E as a measure of valuation. EY has the advantages that it is always determinate and can reflect negative earnings. PRTL has an EY of -99.00 percent. This is below the current average of 3.28% for all the stocks in the VectorVest database. EY equals 100 x (EPS/Price).

GPE (Growth to P/E Ratio): GPE is another popular measure of stock valuation. It compares earnings growth rate to P/E ratio. PRTL has a GPE rating of -4.95. High growth stocks are believed to be able to justify high P/E ratios. A stock is commonly considered to be undervalued when GPE is greater than 1.00 and overvalued when GPE is below 1.00. Unfortunately, this rule of thumb does not take into account the effect of interest rates on P/E ratios. The operative GPE ratio of 1.00 is valid when and only when interest rates equal 10%. With long-term interest rates currently at 5.73%, the operative GPE ratio is 0.33. Therefore, PRTL may be considered to be overvalued.

Dividend Analysis Back to top

DIV (Dividend): VectorVest reports annual, regular, cash dividends as indicated by the most recent payments. Special distributions, one-time payments, stock dividends, etc., are not generally included in DIV. PRTL does not pay a dividend.

DY (Dividend Yield): DY reflects dividend per share as a percent of Price. PRTL does not pay a dividend, so it does not have a Dividend Yield rating. . DY equals 100 x (DIV/Price). It is useful to compare DY with EY. If DY is not significantly lower than EY, the dividend payment may be in jeopardy.

DS (Dividend Safety): DS is an indicator of the assurance that regular cash dividends will be declared and paid at current or at higher rates for the foreseeable future. PRTL does not pay a dividend, so it does not have a Dividend Safety rating . Stocks with DS values above 75 typically have RS values well above 1.00 and EY levels that are much higher than DY.


DG (Dividend Growth Rate): Dividend Growth is a subtle yet important indicator of a company's financial performance. It also provides some insight into the board's outlook on the company's ability to increase earnings. PRTL does not pay a dividend, so it does not have a Dividend Growth rating .

YSG (YSG-Vector): YSG is an indicator which combines DIV, DY and DG into a single value, and allows direct comparison of all dividend-paying stocks in the database. PRTL does not pay a dividend, so it does not have a YSG rating . Stocks with the highest YSG values have the best combinations of Dividend Yield, Safety and Growth. These are the stocks to buy for above average current income and long-term growth.

Price-Volume Data Back to top

Price: PRTL closed on 1/27/2006 at $0.82 per share

Open: PRTL opened trading at a price of $0.77 per share on 1/27/2006.

High: PRTL traded at a High price of $0.87 per share on 1/27/2006.

Low: PRTL traded at a Low price of $0.75 per share on 1/27/2006

Close: PRTL closed trading at price $0.82 per share on 1/27/2006. (Close is also called Price in the VectorVest system)

Range: Range reflects the difference between the High and Low prices for the day. PRTL traded with a range of $0.12 per share on 1/27/2006.

$Change: PRTL closed up 0.07 from the prior day's closing Price.

%PRC: PRTL's Price changed 9.33% from the prior day's closing price.

Volume: PRTL traded 3,392,427 shares on 1/27/2006.

AvgVol: AvgVol is the 50 day moving average of daily volume as computed by VectorVest. PRTL has an AvgVol of 1,232,600 shares traded per day.

%Vol: %Vol reflects the percent change in today's trading volume as compared to the AvgVol. %Vol equals ((Volume - AvgVol) / AvgVol ) 100. PRTL had a %Vol of 175.23% on 1/27/2006

CI (Comfort Index): CI is an indicator which reflects a stock's ability to resist severe and/or lengthy price declines. PRTL has a CI rating of 0.47, which is very poor on a scale of 0.00 to 2.00. CI is quite different from RS in that it is based solely upon a stock's long-term price history. VectorVest advocates the purchase of high CI stocks.

Sales / Market Capitalization Information Back to top

Sales: PRTL has annual sales of $1,237,000,000

Sales Growth: Sales Growth is the Sales Growth Rate in percent over the last 12 months. PRTL has a Sales Growth of -13.00% per year. This is very poor. Sales Growth is updated each week for every stock. It is often useful to compare Sales Growth to Earnings Growth to gain an insight into a company's operations.

Sales Per Share (SPS): PRTL has annual sales of $12.37 per share. SPS can be used as a measure of valuation when comparing stocks within an Industry Group.

Price to Sales Ratio (P/S): PRTL has a P/S of 0.07. This ratio is also used as a measure of valuation. Here, too, it is useful when comparing stocks within an Industry Group.

Shares: PRTL has 100,000,000 shares of stock outstanding.

Market Capitalization: PRTL has a Market Capitalization of $82,000,000. Market Capitalization is calculated by multiplying price times shares outstanding.

Summary Back to top

PRTL is overvalued compared to its Price of $0.82 per share, has below average safety, and is currently rated a Hold.

The basic strategy of VectorVest is to buy Low risk, High reward stocks. We suggest that Prudent investors buy enough High Relative Value, High Relative Safety stocks to keep the overall RV and RS ratings of their portfolios above 1.00. As you do this, you'll find that your risk will go down and your investment performance will improve.

Graphs

Primus Telecom


Telecomm (Services)








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#102709 (raspuns la: #102707) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului
Intrebari la care s-a si intrebari la care nu s-a - de Dinu Lazar la: 31/03/2006 18:48:38
(la: O conversatie cu DINU LAZAR, fotograf)
Intreaba unu` cit sa ceara pe o lucrare foto.
Un alt fotograf ii raspunde pe larg.
Chestia se intimpla desigur in alta tzara.
Dar, oricum, e interesant.

Try anywhere between £1.00 and £10,000.00 per day. That should cover it!

A bit of a pointless statement you might say. And indeed you are correct.
Much as anyone else's might be, without knowing the first thing about your
circumstances. After all, £250.00, £500.00, £1000.00, £2000.00 per day could
all be wide of the mark, in terms of your client and for yourself!

The first thing you have to do is to work out how much it is costing you to
breathe. What are your outgoings?

Do you work from home or rent a studio?

Do you own the property and have a mortgage?

Utility bills, council tax, maintenance on same?

Do you own a car? How much is it costing you to run? Annual bills for fuel,
insurance, tax, maintenance, depreciation, HP, leasing etc., cost to renew?

Digital photographic equipment? (Phew-LM!) Cameras, lenses, computers and all
the peripherals needed to join it all up into a seamless working unit.
Office equipment? Insurance again. How much is it all costing you? Leasing?
Buy out right - then interest lost on savings?

Pension? Life insurance? Public liability? Servicing an overdraft to the bank!!?

And so on and so on and so on. It never ends. But that’s just for starters!
There will be many more things you will need, just supply clients with your talent.

After the night session, then you need something to buy breakfast in the morning.

Work out all those costs and you come to a frightening figure.

There are then 365 days in the year and I don't believe you will be able to work
every one of those days, so break it down into a realistic figure.

You might want weekends off just like so many of your clients. You might not get
them, but you might get two days of forced holiday in the week, without wishing
to have them by not having any work! So that balances that out. You are down to 265 days.

You might like at least two weeks holiday. After all, many of your clients will
be on four, five, even six weeks holiday a year all paid for. Well you can possibly count
on another five weeks of unpaid holiday in the form of no work. Down to say 230 days.

Now supposing you get a one day job. It maybe necessary to spend one day preparing
for the shoot. It maybe complicated, it may not, but it might take another day to
finish off sitting in front of the computer and then try to get the next job. You
get the drift? For every shooting day, you get another down day. So you are now down
to 115 days of full fee earning days.

Give yourself a bit of a leeway, because you will need to see clients and persuade them
with all your charms. Then there is Aunt Agatha who is coming to London to do a day's
shopping and wouldn't her nephew just like to take her to Harrod's? She might buy you
your first decent meal in a month though, so you do it without protest. Then there is
all that faffing about creating your book, not to mention all the training days and other
trivia that gets in the way of earning money.

And you will soon realise that you will do well to shoot at full fees for more than 100 days
in a year. I say 100 as that happens to be an easy number for us all, to divide all those costs
by, that you are going to run up in the year.

Let's face it, the costs are easy to calculate, but not easy to anticipate.
The end result could be a frightening figure, simply because this is what you need to breathe
for one year. It takes no account of re-investment into the business. It makes no allowance to
put money by for that ocean going yacht you have promised yourself within five years!
It certainly takes no account of your talent. If you are the bee's knees why shouldn't
you charge more than the next guy?

Do some sums first. At least you get some idea of where to start from. Don't take any
notice of moneys promised in the future. We would all be millionaires if all that came to fruition.
Be careful of supposed retainers.
They have a habit of being cut short!

There is a figure out there below which you will take your last breath.
Don't go there. It is easy to be a busy fool!
#114673 (raspuns la: #114652) comenteaza . modifica . semnaleaza adminului



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